The Soul Feels Its Worth

It’s Christmas. I can tell because I have remnants of White Elephant parties piling up on my dresser: dollar store candles and signed pictures of Screech from Saved By The Bell. Someone got a live lobster at one party, but I was not so lucky.

I can tell because I begrudgingly have the Christmas Pandora station playing in my kitchen, the singers crooning in all of their insincere glory.  (Gloria Estefan, do you really want to see Christmas Through My Eyes? Mariah Carey, is it true that all you want for Christmas is me? Paraphrasing Love Actually: it may be crap music but it’s solid gold crap!)

I can tell because my heart, oh my poor heart is in the weird paradoxical state it is always in this time of year. One moment feeling so incredibly loved, the next feeling so incredibly lonely. One moment feeling  so grateful for my life, the next feeling like I am done with the storyline I’m living and that I want a new one. As soon as possible.

Christmas is the great reminder that my life is not like the nebulous phantom family life that is out there floating in the universe that all of us are supposed to compare our own families with. For some odd reason, we feel this pressure to weigh our our own situations to see if they live up to some magical standard that perhaps no family actually has.

Inevitably though, every year, I have something that shakes me out of my me coma long enough to remember the incredible, mind blowing mystery that we are celebrating.

This year, that something was this footage of the Andromeda galaxy. (Stick with it until the end if possible so you can picture the scale I’m talking about.)

What we just saw is one tiny speck of one galaxy. Scientists believe that there are around one hundred billion galaxies. To help you understand that number, if God were to give you one galaxy every second, it would take around 3,200 years for him to give you all the galaxies of the universe.

Mind officially blown.

Mind blown

What is even crazier is that the God who not only lives in the cosmos but CREATED them, the God that can’t be contained by eternity, that very God came down and became a tiny baby.

So we can hold him close to our heart.

Can you imagine how confined, uncomfortable, helpless, that might have felt? But he did it. He did it because he wants to be close to us.

He did it because when it is Christmas day and I begin to cry because my life is not what I expected or hoped it would be, he is right there holding me. He gave everything to be close to me like that. He truly is Emmanuel, the God that is with us. Even in our darkest moments.

That picture of the God who made those stars being held in the arms of human beings is truly the greatest mystery fathomable, the deepest and most profound story ever told.

As the Christmas song “O Holy Night” says he appeared, and the soul felt its worth.

When I remember this mystery, this sacrifice, no matter what my circumstances look like, my soul feel its worth.

What do you love about Christmas? What do you hate about it? What mysteries blow your mind during this season?

PS to all my Sexy Celibate readers: it has been a long time since I have put up a post . It’s not because I’ve been lazy, though! I am writing a new book on self compassion and bringing God’s  healing to the different “voices” inside of you like the orphan, the bully, and the performer. My mind has been on other things besides singleness (thankfully) and that’s why I have haven’t posted. But I’m sure you all would like to hear about other things…I will try to get some tidbits from my new book on here soon. And if any other singleness ideas come up I will get right on it! Thanks for sticking with me!













11 thoughts on “The Soul Feels Its Worth

  1. Hi Kate I love your blogs and they encourage me! I’m 42 nearly 43 & disappointedly single & childless.

    I’m also a grammar nazi and have to point out to you-

    Every soul feels its worth

    It’s = it is

    There. I’ve said it. Blessings and grace and peace to you Sharon


    • Hmmmm….I was wondering that myself but thought there should be an apostrophe because the worth is owned by it (the soul?) Just like I would use an apostrophe if I said it was Kate’s blog? Would love to know as I don’t want it to be annoying on there….

  2. Ps. And please please keep writing your blog! You have inspired me with your deep faith in God’s goodness when I nearly lose hope.


  3. I absolutely love astronomy. The reason I love it is because the expansion is so vast. It is beautiful, but in its beauty, it is merciless. We will not survive beyond a few miles from our earth’s surface. What also astonishes me is the size of our own solar system and our own galaxy. Size in space is measured in light-years, not meters or yards or inches, no, light years. A light year is the distance light travels in one year, approximately 5.88 x 1012 miles or 5.88 trillion miles. Light travels 7.5, yes, seven and a half times around the earth in one second.

    One of my favorite stars is Arcturus, mentioned in the Bible (Job 9:9 KJV). Arcturus, in the constellation Boötes, is the brightest star in the northern celestial hemisphere and is 36.66 light years from earth, which means it takes light almost 37 years to reach earth. So, congratulations if you are roughly 36 years and 8 months. If you look up in the sky and spot Arcturus, know that the light you observe, departed Arcturus on the day you were born.

    Anyway, the picture that made me pay attention was called The Pale Blue Dot. You can search for it in Google. I also want to mention that the photo was taken from about 40.5 AU (Astronomical Units or roughly the distance between the sun and earth, about 94 million miles). Since it takes 8 minutes for the sunlight to reach earth, means that the photo is what earth looks like from about 5.5 light-HOURS away.

  4. I was debating if I should write this reply or not, but then I decided why not since you can totally ignore it if you want.
    I just want to mention two more things. The first one is about the Pillars Of Creation. It is one of the first photos taken by the Hubble space telescope. It was not until recently (several years ago) that astronomers discovered that the Pillars might not exist anymore. The Pillars are about 7000 light-years away. The astronomers discovered a star that went supernova about 6000 years ago. It is possible that in the next 1000 years we, obviously not me, will see the destruction of the Pillars. What we see now is what the Pillars looked like 7000 years ago, although it may have been destroyed 6000 years which we will not observe for another 1000 years.
    The second is more nerdy. Yes, I am splitting hairs here, I do admit that. Light travel about one nanosecond per foot. A nanosecond is one thousandths of a thousandth of a thousandth of a second. See what I mean by splitting hairs. Therefore, scientifically, everything you observe now already happened. Meaning if something is 100 feet in front of you, then that is what that object looked like 100 nanoseconds ago…or to put it another way, you are always living in the past. Everything already happened and, possibly, might have changed by the time you observed it, even if it is feet from you. Mind blowing exercise. You drop a fork from the kitchen counter and the counter is three feet from your eyes. That means that by the time you observe it three nanoseconds later, the fork already travelled a minuscule, but measureable distance further away from you accelerating due to gravity. As I say, splitting hairs, but chew on that one for a bit.

  5. Pingback: Advent, Week Three: O, Little Town of Bethlehem | Spiritual Implications

  6. Thanks Kate for this reminder!

    I’m praying your soul truly does feel it’s worth everyday this season!! Thanks for all your posts where you share so honestly an truthfully. You are a blessing to many!

    Love you and Merry Christmas! Kosharah

  7. When I saw this article, I thought of your blog post.
    It is how the Andromeda galaxy were scanned with high-energy X-ray vision. In it the authors state “The results will ultimately help researchers better understand the role of X-ray binaries in the evolution of our universe. According to astronomers, these energetic objects may play a critical role in heating the intergalactic bath of gas in which the very first galaxies formed.” The following kind of words “better understand” and “may play” always makes me grin if not a full laugh. Here people are trying to understand a world, a cosmos, that God created. So why am I smiling.
    The reason is that when God created this world, He created it once in Genesis 1. God is not trying to try to keep one step ahead of us. No, He created World 1.0 and it has run since the beginning of time. We are only figuring the world we live in due to technological advances. Imagine what we will know 10 years, 50 years, a century from now. As my mom always say “Where we are now, my God already was.”
    If you have about an hour to spare, then I will encourage you to watch the video “At the Edge of Space”. It is about sprites. No, not that kind. Sprites are lightning hits up in space. Again, one of those things that we have only discovered in the past 20 years, but God created in Genesis 1.

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