How My Trip To The Library Proves That I Love You

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(I wanted to include the above picture as proof that the following blog is based on real events.)

I want to let you know that you are loved today.

Do you know why I know that you are loved? Because I am the one that loves you. Do you know why I know I love you? Because of a little trip I took to the library yesterday. Read on and you will understand.

I have always loved libraries. I inherited this love from my very wonderful but very quirky mother. All though my years growing up, we would have stacks and stacks of books around the corners of our house. Mom realized that if she went to Denver Public Library there was no limit to how many she took out. She also realized that she could renew all her books every Friday, and that if no one else requested them, she could keep them for as long as she wanted.

So she milked that government subsidized machine-o-wisdom for all that it was worth. At one time she had two hundred books out from the library. I am not exaggerating Two. Freaking. Hundred.

The Denver Library finally changed their policy to say that your book limit should be, you know, under the triple digits. She proudly believes that they made that policy because of her.

I usually check out really thought provoking, deep books. Books of spiritual poetry. Books by Henri Nouwen, who is my favorite non fiction author. Theological books about the bible. Novels that are beautiful written and inspiring. Books about social justice and community development, subjects I am very interested in.

In my warped, slightly self absorbed, perception, I always believe that my familiar librarians notice what I am checking out. That they are intrigued by my choice of books. There she is, they think. That wonderful kind redheaded girl who always checks out  such spiritual, thought provoking books. She is so contemplative and wise.  In truth, what they are probably thinking is I wonder if I should make tacos for dinner. 

This last time I went to the library I needed to do some more research for this blog, as I am a very astute blog writer. Plus the fact that I am totally running out of things to say about dating.

As I stood to check out my books, I looked down at what I was about to check out. And I was ashamed. deeply ashamed.

Instead of Henri Nouwen’s Return of the Prodigal Son or a book by Teresa of Avila, I was checking out Dating Makes You Want To Die: But You Have To Do It Anyway, How To Date A White Woman; A Guide For Asian Men, and Wood Nymph Seeks Centaur: A Mythological Dating Guide. (Okay. I didn’t really check out those last two, but I thought about it.)

In my mind, I was no longer the librarians favorite mysterious yet winsome patron. I was the shallow thirty something year old woman who wanted a date enough to read these ridiculous books. “Would you like to check anything else out?” the librarian said to me sadly. “No, just these,” I retorted with a tear in my eye.

One of the only books that I checked out that looked promising was called How To Date Like A Grown Up.  Okay. Looks like it might be a good research book.

I knew my mistake when I started reading the third chapter, which was called Mortuaries and Other Pick Up Joints. The chapter talks about how it is more difficult in later years to find good dating material in bars and dance clubs. So the author has a few new suggestions. In the section of the chapter called Ladies Night At the Crematorium it talks about how funerals are a really good option for us.

Not. Making. This. Up.

There is a little caption at the bottom of the page with some good advice. How long to wait to flirt with the widower. Seriously, author lady? Seriously?

The next two suggestions of places for women to find good dating material were a golf course and a motorcycle gang.

Midway through the chapter, I looked up and thought, Dear God, what has happened to me? Is this what I have been reduced to?

These are the sacrifices I must make to write this blog. These are the things I must endure.

I DO IT FOR YOU! I DO IT ALL FOR YOU!

Do you feel loved now? I hope so. Because you are.

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15 thoughts on “How My Trip To The Library Proves That I Love You

  1. Wow…I really do feel loved. And impressed at your dedication. And I think I would get on very well with your mom. (Oh, and is it bad that I’m kind of curious about the book in the picture now? lol)

  2. Don’t worry, you don’t have to find a date at a funeral! I am 39 and finally met someone who I think I may marry. I had given up on it all after all those years of not dating and then the years where I had really bad dates. My boyfriend’s not perfect and neither am I. It’s also hard work, but hopefully it’ll be worth it in the end. Don’t give up! I realize that God’s timing is perfect in all of this and I am so thankful for that!

  3. I have only ever read two dating books in my entire life. One book when I was in middle school our youth minister suggested. One of the date suggestions was going and picking up balls out of the pond at a putt-putt place. I AM NOT KIDDING! Then a few years ago, about 27 I read Boy Meets Girl by the guy who wrote I kissed dating goodbye. It was ok. the guy did quote John Piper, so that made me think he wasnt too dense. But a lot of it was courting, which at 27 seems to ridiculous and infantile. Courtship might work in your teens but once you in college or have a job and live by yourself, courtship is laughable to me (though some of the meanings, such as meeting family, seeking wisdom, being in real situations were not).

  4. 1. Yes, I DO feel loved. Thank you kindly, dear Kate.

    2. In all honesty, I’m willing to wager that the guys in the motorcycle gang are mostly single. Not necessarily your cup of tea, but technically single.

    3. [Serious Point Time] Return Of The Prodigal Son is an AMAZING book!!! I got it after reading about it in some of Brennan Manning’s books, and was not disappointed in the least.

    Thanks for your sacrifices! 😉

  5. You had me laughing even harder than usual. I think you really should check out the nymph and centaur book, just to let us all know what it’s about!

    And to be honest, I have the same self-conciousness at the grocery store. We know most of the checkers, since we kind of stand out in our neighborhood! I always hope they find my choices frugal and healthy!

    • Isn’t it funny how we do that? It cracks me up! I soooo wish I could come visit you guys! To see that painting would absolutely blow me away. You know my friend Emily Malour don’t you? She used to work out there too.

  6. I am sitting in a coffee shop reading your blog and pack out laughing, a few looks here and there (British stiff upper lip and all) but I don’t care as I feel loved!!
    … we love you Kate for all you go through to give help make us laugh and know we are not alone in this quest for love, thank you for your dedication.

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